It is 2:00 PM on Thursday, October 20th, 2016.

It is exactly two weeks and five days until the rest of my life begins.

I still can't find the words to tell you in an exact and fitting way
Everything I've always wanted you to know.

I want to tell you that you make me feel safe.

I want to tell you that being with you is like breathing a sigh of relief. It's like finally being home.

And I don't know if you understand how much I've longed to have a home. How desperately I've wanted to feel like I belong somewhere. And I know I belong with you.

I want to tell you that being with you is like being able to see, smell, taste, hear, and feel for the first time. Like I couldn't before. Like I was able to, but it's not the same. This is new, this is different. This is real.

I want to tell you that I was strong without you. That I could stand just fine without you. That I'm capable and competent without you. But with you? Dear God, you give it-- Everything-- purpose.

And I want to tell you that there's something soothing about standing tall without reason, there's something empowering about it. But nothing feels better than having meaning, than doing everything for a reason.

I want to tell you that you make me feel whole-- I was whole without you, but you make me grounded. Like I really am real, alive, and good.

I want to tell you that you make me feel like I'm a good person. Like I'm better than I was. Like I can be better.

I want to tell you that part of me is scared. Like I won't be good enough for you, like if I tell you any of this you'll walk away.

But the other part of me, the bigger part of me, is excited. I want to be yours, entirely. Because I love you more than forever, more than always.

I want to tell you that I'm more than ready to spend my life with you, and that I know our future together only holds beautiful, amazing things. Thank you for being mine.