All I ask for is to connect.
Is that so hard to get?
I'm not keeping people away.
Its not all up to me to give and earn respect.
I'm not intending anyone to take care of me.
Just to be embraced.

I long for a soul pleading for mine.
To take my breath away.
I'm not out to be anything else.
Just myself.
I'm tired of only being useful.
And a simple mistake.
Regret.

You know what it's like to watch time tick away?
As you reach out and find others. A moment.
That lasts only a day.
It's a double edged sword.
Yet feels like I'm walking into the grey.

I spent so many years trying to just survive.
We all go through these moments in our lives.
Where we realize we were the fool.
But we are no less a person for what we went through.
To protect the ones we love. To stop the drowning pool.

Doesn't mean I'm stupid.
Or intend to repeat.
I've repaired that part of my spirit.
The place that hid safely for me.

So when it was time to awaken.
And see what I had done.
I yelled "REDEMPTION!"
I pushed and pulled all the pieces
torn apart together again. I am forsaken.
Fell apart for another scar,
another intention.

For an uncertain future
That I will find.
I get a taste. A small amount of time.
And always in the back of my mind.
I see that it will be gone. A short lived
Ecstacy. A moment in my life's prime.
If no one will persist. Or really try.
I'll never crawl from this crimson wine.
Drunk on ignorant bliss.

I feel a knife plunged deep inside.

No one made me change my path.
That was all me.

So please take that knife.
Be over with it please.

I cannot sit idling by.
Waiting for what others
Decide.

I want to be close.
But sense that im just waiting.
Wanted and hoping.
So I give into my pride.
To taste what is inevitably the relentless tide.

The blood rain.
Extinguished the flame inside.

I spin and spin in circles.
Fighting tooth and nail on
This journey.
Only balancing on a half pipe.

I've known pain. Deeper than this.

Outside hovering.

Is the "DEMON,"
I keep within.

Can't expect **** from ppl.
Can't find the truth.
If you want ME!
Say the word.
I'm not gonna mess around.
Or settle for what is best for me.

And then be forgotten in a whim.
Takes two to tango they say?
Takes your heart to touch anothers.
Don't wait to long.
You cannot hide from decay.

The soul can become grim. Broken,
And full of dismay.

Look folks.
Life's a *****.
But we all wanna think we are okay.
Keep that arm out. So no one gets in.
Eventually, like a psychic.
You are forced to read their minds.

So here it is. My blunt sword.
Go ahead. Plunge it within.
I'll praise you for stepping through
The door.

I WILL NOT be anyones regret.
Anyones useful pride.
Take me or leave me. I'll just keep
Walking on.
It's all I've known.
To pick up
And go.
Haven't seen another side.

If you want me. Take my hand.
I can't make you do anything.
That's why I just hover.
I'm not settling.
Don't hide beneath my grey wing.

I'll be waiting.
Because that's the game of life.
Until whoever finds me.
I'll just stay hidden inside.
With a maniacal grin.

Like a test, for you to see.
I'll remain cold inside.
Until a fire warms me.
When I'm released from this decreed.
From the souls death of memories
that made it bleed.