I don't get it
I don't understand
I don't know

I guess the real question is
Do I know anything?

I didn't know Seth would be abusive
I didn't know he would manipulate me
I didn't know he would force me into situations
I didn't want to be in
I didn't know he would use me as a *** toy

I didn't know I'd turn out just like him
I didn't know I'd force all of my emotions
Onto the people I love most
And expect them to fix me

I didn't know I'd lose the man I cared about most in this world
Because I'd mistreat him
Because I'd put so much pressure on him
That he couldn't even function

I didn't know that my little brother
Would look me in the eye
And tell me he didn't care about me

I didn't know, that because of Seth,
I'd be afraid of men for the rest of my life
I didn't know that the littlest thing
Could trigger flashbacks and panic attacks

I didn't know I'd be cursed
With severe depression
And extreme anxiety
I didn't know I'd be on medication
To be society's "normal"

I didn't know anything
I didn't know any of it
I didn't know
But here I am
Stuck with all of these things that I've learned
With all of the things, I didn't know
But that I know now

I sort of wish, I still didn't know
All of the things I know
I wish I didn't know because that way
I wouldn't be so broken
I wouldn't be so hurt
And I wouldn't drag everyone down with me

But now I know
All of these things
That I didn't know
And I'm stuck with it
The past, present, and future

I'm still learning
I'm still thinking
I'm still regretting
But I keep moving
Because I have to
Even though there is a lot that I don't know