3, 10, 11, 12, 13, 15, 17, 18 and now

AGE 3
please dad no
don’t hit my brother
don’t kick him out
stop throwing things dad
mom please stop
stop threatening him
stop screaming
please stop mom and dad

AGE 10
mom can’t leave
where is she going?
is she coming back?
no? what do you mean?
mom is sick?
how sick?
please don’t leave
goodbye mom

AGE 11
first hit
first call
child’s aid
i guess its my turn for the blame
stop hitting me dad
it hurts

AGE 12
first of many counsellor meetings
but this one
this one changed my life
i went from writing
suicide notes
to thank you notes

AGE 13
im not hungry
no thank you
i’m full
i need new clothes
smaller clothes
to fit the new body
that i never fed

AGE 15
go to physio therapy they said
it will help your back they said
one visit
and i walked out crying
****** harassment filled my head
with nightmares
and bad memories
i was felt up by someone
i knew nothing about

AGE 17
stop it
*******
get a life
you’re just a stupid high school boy
oh ****
he touched me
he said things about me
inappropriate things
“sir, he’s been harassing me for months now”

AGE 18
stop
please stop
help
someone help
get off me
please
leave
go
stop
help
someone help
….
room went silent
but my tears were still streaming
down my face
as my ****** held my mouth shut

AND NOW
now i am in uni
now i have better friends
now i am safe
now i am happy
but ****
what a nightmare I've had