i just came to the realization that every one around me will one day die..
so i mean whats the point right?
how i see it, is that 3 people will truly notice me when im gone:
my mom
my dad
Kiya

My mom because, well to be blunt because i came out of her, and because shes supposed to care shes supposed to know when i have tears running out of my eyes, when i dont feel like living, shes supposed to notice my bad days, when i say 'oh, i just have a headache' shes supposed to notice.
why doesn't she notice... i just want her to notice

My dad because he helped create me, and he fees guilty for beating on me and my brother and cheating on my mom, like a new phone will fix his past mistakes, he will probably think its his fault, because he wasn't there to tell me what a beautiful daughter i am like every statistic says. he'll probably **** himself too, because hes a coward, cheaters always are.

and lastly Kiya
shell feel sad and go into a bigger depression she already is because her mom passed away about two years now, and shell most likely be on her phone at my funeral because thats all she does when shes around me, the most conversation she has with me is over the phone anyways, shell probably text me when im dead to just try and keep the conversation going, shell say 'today i ****** Anna again and i feel weird about it...' and go on because thats ill i hear from her and im ******* sick of it.
thats why im killing myself, because all this ****. is amazingly not worth any of this heartbreak i feel everyday in my sad little pathetic 15 year old teenage life.