I remember
His voice
So loud and enraged and full of contempt
I remember the hand
And the resounding noise it makes
I remember the flash, and the sting on the side of my face
I remember the burn behind my eyes
I remember the blur
I remember that single stray tear
And then the others
Streaming down my face in rivulets
I remember trying to contain myself
Trying to keep it all in
Don’t make a sound
Don’t
But I did
And I remember the shouting
And then the calm
His voice, so full of disappointment
And I remember thinking
Could anything be worse than this
I remember he left
I remember my feet moving down the hallway
I remember closing the door and covering my mouth
I remember the choked sobs that racked through my body
I remember my breathing, so ragged and out of control
It took hours for me to calm down
And I remember looking at myself afterwards
I remember my bloodshot eyes and tangled hair
I remember that feeling
Of being alone
Of having not fulfilled
Of being unwanted
And whenever I remember
I feel it again