It's been a long time
Since we talked.
And even though I am certain
This will never fall upon
Your porcelain ears,
I need to say this anyway.

I have never loved anyone
The way my heart burst
From my chest at only
The mention of your name.
And sometimes I feel like
There isn't another name
I could love.

You knew the battlefield
I was raised on.
You saw first hand the
Wasteland and chose to love me
When I couldn't even love myself.

The nights when the darkness
Swelled inside me and I shattered
Like glass against pavement.
You held me tight and made
Me feel like I could lay roots
In your arms.

Had I realized sooner that you
Were a porcelain painted hatchet
With only the intention of tearing MY
Roots from MY sanity,
I could have grown harder bark.

You decided to chase another
Man's affection while still holding
So tightly to mine.
I wish you could have been honest
And let me free the right way.

You made me into a villain instead.
A nuclear wasteland of your bad
Decisions and scorned my name
In your history books as 'a toxic tragedy'

I no longer ache
When your name comes up
In conversation.
I even talk to your best friends
Regularly.

This will be the last time I write to you.
And I hope from the bottom of my heart
That you find whatever you need
To be happy.

I only wish you would have known
My heart well enough to know that
I would have let you go if you only asked.