I have had a glass of water
For every hour I have been home.
And for the hour I was not
I had two.

But my head still feels
Like it's being cracked open
With an ice pick,
And I haven't had a headache this bad,
Since I was scared he was going to hurt me
In the way others have before.

I remember flinching and sobbing
With "I'm sorry's"
And being curled over and hyperventilating
And begging and begging
For him not to hurt me,
Explaining how horribly sorry
I was,
And as I remember the pain,
The piercing
Grey and white pain,
I remember the fear in my heart
The fear in my being,
And that's what held me on so tight,
I was afraid of him too.

And it saddens me to say,
At that point in time
I would have done whatever
He wanted
Because fear is strong.

But now I'm giddy to tell you,
I'd love to break my fist on his face,
And I'm even happier to tell you,
Her future will not be my fate.

So today left me dehydrated,
And it didn't start off too great.

But I have wonderful news to tell my Bluebird,
If only this headache would go away.

I'd rather be dehydrated but working on it,
And deeply, madly, beautifully in love with
my Bluebird who has taught me to soar,

Than be getting screamed at
By some loser
Who doesn't care about anyone anymore.