At 21, the Jordan River baptized me, at last – my mother was exuberant: her first-born saved from being young, drunk, and beautiful. On the third day, we swam in the Dead Sea. I tried to float, but, my doubts weighed me down and I did not rise. A week later, I watched my mother kneel in the Garden of Gethsemane, eyes closed, head bent in fervent prayer. Afterwards, we walked Via Dolorosa, her feet blistered and so we exchanged sandals. I slipped hers on and swallowed the ominous lump in my throat. Even then, months before the brain tumors, and hospital visits, I somehow knew it was the last time I would walk in her shoes. And so I walked the Way of Sorrows, missing her impending absence even as she stood beside me, as my hair turned white with grief for what I knew was soon to come.