I'm a deer in the headlights,
I'm pacing back and forth
I don't know whether to run
forward or step back
There is darkness where I came from
but I can't see ahead

I'm somewhere between
vibrant red and navy blue

My roommate is vomiting
in the bathroom.
I turn up the television,
and pretend not to hear her

I'm a deer in the headlights,
I can't see the face that sits
behind the steering wheel

I imagine she's soft and gentle,
she'll let me pass & I'll be safe

But what if she's sharp and angry,
she'll strike me down & I'll bleed out

My roommate convulses on
the cold tile floor,

There is sweat rolling off her
rib cage

I find her half conscious,
and I don't believe this is happening again

My back aches
but only in one place

I wonder if it's you,
griping me from behind,
trying desperately to pull me backward

Or maybe my back just aches,
and I think too much

I tried to make a friend again today,
and ended up naked & empty,
fumbling around his sheets,
trying to get out of my mind

I don't think I'm doing this right
cause I feel like a deer in the headlights,
and I miss my mother,
and I know she'd slap the cigarette
right out of my hand,
and then she'd kiss my forehead,
and I'd feel better

I'm tripping over gravel,
Pacing back and forth
The yellow light creates a straight line
And I keep following it to the same place

There's been a song stuck in
my head for three days
and 8 & a half hours,
I can't focus on anything else

I told a boy I hate
that I love him,
just because I like the
way it sounded as it rolled off my lips
And I knew I'd get high off the look in his eyes

Maybe that's my whole problem-
Start to finish,
Plain and simple,
I just wanna be liked
And I never have been

Can't tell if I'm useless
or too used-
Can I be both at the same time?

I'm a deer in the headlights,
trying to find my way back to my mother,
going blind from the colors

I'm a deer in the headlights...

Mom,
If you can hear me now,
I'm so sorry for who I am