I thought I believed in a God,
a superior being who decides when we drop.
Then I read His book, His word
and thought it was inconsistent
because how can something so 'perfect' have mistakes.

So I stopped believing
kept my negative outlook because why be positive in the end we're not receiving
I didn't have a goal to reach
and my old views were no longer mine
I wasn't into the'one life' thing and wanted more takes.

Then I was confused
because again I changed my views.
I unsure what to believe anymore.
I wanted an afterlife and I believe in it too
but wouldn't an omnibenevolent God let me choose.

And can't decide whether He's real or made up
because I like to think there's truth in every holy book.
And I'd like to think I get a choice
but I'm mortal and unsure if it's true.
So I'll continue believe either way I win and loose.