I am a ship
Waiting to sink; I am a soldier
Waiting for the inevitable battle

I am standing in an empty ocean waiting for a wave to crash over me and I think about you and how familiar this feels.

How I waited and waited; I waited so long for you to come back but you didn’t

Leaving me stranded on a deserted island
I am the sand, falling through a lonely lover’s fingertips
Or am I the lonely lover?

I didn’t know when to stop searching for you; for a sign that you’d one day reappear amiss the war cries and tell me how badly of a mistake you made

Because I had fallen victim to your cruel fantasies and became engrossed in a love that never existed.

I would stare at the clock, tick-tock, watching the seconds crawl by and wonder how long I’d have to wait before you’d tell me you’re sorry.

Even after everything that you did to me, I still hoped that maybe you loved me and didn’t quite know what to say.

It took me many months to understand that this was no riotous romance, it was an abusive affiliation that was one part love and another part fraudulence and oh, there are days I wish you were here but the desire for your false love does not outweigh the fact that you left me alone, with no where to go, thinking about all the ways I could have ****** up to make you leave forever.

If I could have you back I’d love to say yes, but I promised myself that the answer would be no.