6word story.

Sorry for being away. Not sure i'll come back as soon as after this post. Ive lost my father just afew weeks ago. And im still in mourning even though i still cant believe his gone too soon from us. My friends and family advice me to stay strong. And i will but im not sure for how long, my loneliness and insecurities are eating me up inside. I can only share a few of my struggles. I was glad that i was able to tell my siblings what my inner struggle but im afraid what are they thinking right now, i know they love me but i cant still love myself, i hate thinking how much i dont like myself. I fear so many... i feel so tired at times without reason.  

Dear papa,

I wish your happy now in heaven with mama with you. I know how much you love her and us. Im sorry that sometimes i am not honest to you or i have put much distance between us when im in abroad working. Please don't take it too personally, i just wanted to be alone for awhile, trying to figure out what i want or need and im still searching in vain. Im sorry that im keeping a little disappointment from you,  thinking that you never cared for me. Because youll always say my sisters this and that, and that all your concerns are about their problem. Well i can't blame you, because when you say are you okay there? All i ever reply to you is im good. Even my relatives told me that he doesn't worry about me, perhaps beause they're thinking im too independent on my own that i don't need much of anything. Perhaps im just too good of an actor that they don't see what im struggling for. Okay, im all good now... ill make my life good as long as i still can. Thank you for being such a good father, ill miss you, goodbye...