Who do you call when there is no one to call?
Your last friend that catches your sense of humour, dies without a sense of humour
The friend that generally made up all of your contacts

Calls beforehand of daily progress always went answered to a mother who no longer exists
They were followed by a friend who absorbed everything said
These absorptions poisoned the well of humour and goodwill that you befriended in the first place

Your contacts list might grow in the days ahead
But the optimism that that idea requires to believe in  and the failed rate of your previous confidants make you feel you should protect all
Keep everything within, never explode.
Hopefully implode.