I got home
And checked my phone
It'd been off all day
And a bunch of notifications naturally
Headed my way
But I started simple
and checked my voice mail
After hearing the robotic telemarketer drone
On and on
My exhausted brain was more fried than a salt covered snail

So I  took a second to regroup
And listen to the next message
I sat down and absorbed the shock
Hearing this felt like suffering a hemorrhage
I was so taken aback I could hardly stand

Now what the voice-mail said?
I'll leave that up to your imagination to plan