This time last year I was writing letters Apologising for the way I feel And the way I have always felt Trying to shift blame onto my own selfish consciousness And the methods to drown it out Methods that left more than just physical scars This year I am no longer writing letters But every breath is like swallowing glass My heart beats languid and slow Every cell of me is fatigued I sleep all the time and I never feel awake Fully consumed in the guilt of who I am And how it must hurt people to love me So no, I am no longer writing letters But I am still revising the words.
I wanted to be better I should have been better It isn't getting better