I was waiting to become something bigger than myself something astronomical; imprinted eternally in the infinite cosmos; i wanted to be a constellation I wanted to never have to fade out or burn away not even in your memories. selfish, yes. egotistical, probably. and still, i longed to keep you awake at night, i yearned for astronomers to gaze and ponder at the marvellous miracle that was myself narcissism is eating me away; that unquenchable thirst to live unending in the spaces between breaths but in the end, my blood isn't stardust, or fire when i fall away to bones, to dust, to nothing it will have simply been red.