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Yellowbird Sep 2018
to me
this means never existing
in one place more than another
as close to you as to me
at any given moment
always present
no exceptions
when I asked my mother
why He always speaks to her
and never me
she told me I wasn't listening
she said the difference between
her and me
has nothing to do
with a place or position
and everything to do with receptivity
Yellowbird Aug 2018
I believed and had seen
but never felt it
coming from within a human being
until I met you
the more time I spend with you
the more I feel that my life
is something possible
to make meaningful
the more I think of myself
as someone completely capable
the more I believe that I can do
anything I wanna do.\

you make it easy for me
to let go of everything
thats hurting me
thats been holding me back
I no longer believe
that these things are apart of me
I used to believe they would always be

also, you're a dillhole
Yellowbird Aug 2018
the meds won't work
had the same thought
ten thousand times
it's only getting worse
swore off temptation
I think
what if this really
isn't what I want
how can I apologize
for telling the truth
I'm always gonna hurt you
Yellowbird Aug 2018
"recovery is when you feel like
you're getting better and worse
at the same time
learning how to be sane
while feeling insane at the same time

recovery is seeing flashbacks so bright
that you don't know
if you're getting a clearer view
of if you're being dazzled by it

you're going to feel how you felt
the day you met them
the day they said they love you
and the day they left
the day you locked yourself
in a closet and cried
the day you stayed up all night
with nothing left to feel
and the night you felt it best
to end end your own life

you're going to relive these moments
but this time only
to let them go.
Yellowbird Aug 2018
I want this number
etched on my hear
as a permanent reminder
of what once was
to remind me of both
the pain and the beauty
Yellowbird Aug 2018
the places I never want to go
seem to be the same ones
I end up at the most
focused on every thing
I'd rather not pay mind
I pay with my own peace
not this time
Yellowbird Aug 2018
I'm back here again
I can't get out and
my best friend cries
because she knows it
knows she can't help and
it breaks her heart
I'm not myself.
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