inside pulling , I hide the urge to run, a big strong outside makes me stand one foot planted, it almost comes out then, but when I sit later, humiliated by myself, where in the corners black crouching waiting for me I know it is, in my head or reality must be a sense of his slithery, coiled, for me to be smiling , awaits I alone again- and then proudly it stands like a devil mocking every god ****** thought and nerve