Most nights I don't know who I am
I lay awake and in the darkest hours
I either feel everything at once
Or nothing at all
I do not know which is worse

A faceless figure holds my hand
Talking of love in an implacable voice
The grip tightens and tightens
Until I am screaming, pulling at them
They are laughing and I am hurting

I am grinning and spinning
Dizzying myself in circles of joy
Faster - until everything blurs together
People, places, memories, blending
Eventually I stop spinning. I am blind.

I am standing on a tall, tall building
Looking down at the ants of my town
The breeze edges me closer to the drop
I jump, expecting to fly, expecting freedom
I plummet, and before death, I find regret.