I can never return
my body will not let me
will not let go of you
and if I go back to
that house I might have to.

I know you are dead
but the casket was closed,
and my emotions do not know
what my mind says is true,
so if I go back
I will have to truly lose you.

You see the hours and the town
still holds the past down
every memory is seeded
and carefully grown
painfully shown.
It is well known
that if I go home
it will be the last time I can.

So I claim that it is not shame
but a cold hard fact
that demands I never go back.
I will never go back,
because part of me
still believes you will be there
and not just still deceased.

If I go back, then
the chances of that
are decreased
to zero,

Then all that we were
together and apart
our history of family
flesh of my heart
will be forever dead.