rudely intruding on my stellar mood
the thought occurs I need some food
at the risk of coming across mean or crude
the entire process feels to me lewd
as if I were a wild horse forced to be shoed
or stuck in a clown suit living fancy dude
I hope to make this clear and not be too *****
there are few things in life I despise like food

the very idea I am forced to stop and eat
you might as well tell me they are going to cut off my feet
in modern society there’s no way to be discrete
and in all actuality it’s the only way to be complete
whether vegan for life or a lover of meat
salted pork sandwich or a bite from a beet
both can be smothered in a sauce of mesquite
and with the right olives you can be transported to Crete

yes, the woes are so great when stuffing one’s face
like a hog you slop food all over the place
sit there grinning what a total disgrace
I bet you’d eat dog **** covered in mace
if deep fried and plated with a creamy white glaze
eating so fast you can’t even taste
no thought for the starving with flies on their face
you throw scraps away like there’s no such thing as waste

gaining and sweating getting terribly fat
eating mayonnaise straight from the vat
got too excited in the kitchen and swallowed the cat
one time on vacation you ate two whole rats
imagine the horror of something like that
so fat that when sleeping you need a C-pap
machine on your face to keep open the flap
you need for breathing because you got so ****** fat

I am too guilty of being a fat ****
I have lost 70 pounds and some pants still don’t fit
look at my chest and see hairy man ***
makes me so ******* mad I start throwing a fit
but it can only be my fault when really looking at it
is eating too many sweets really worth all this ****
making me feel such an ****** drooling cross-eyed old ***
falling and floundering in a self-pity pit

but I broke free and took control of the food
no longer eat gravy which used to be glued
to my ribs and my gut while growing me *****
and fell out of my bowels each time I pooed
too much sugar creating bad attitude
and helping me to stay locked in my room
a room on the inside of my body that cooed
for the release from the trap of over processed food