Apr 2016
What happened to make you decide to end it on our 1 year anniversary?
When did you decide that pretending you loved me was being honest?
Where did you get the impression that you needed to use me once more?
Why did you have to go & hurt me again, the way you said you wouldn't?
How could you think that I would be okay with being led all year long?
What did I do to deserve being treated this way by someone I really love?
When did you think that lying to me was the right way to be truthful?
Where did you learn you could love someone because they're lonely?
Why did you say yes to liking me when someone else said it for you?
How could I not have seen all the signs that proved you didn't love me?
What made me think that what we were actually meant to be together?
When did my mind decide to forgo any doubts that kept surfacing?
Where did you start giving off vibes that I should've picked up on?
Why didn't I see that you were only "going through the motions"?
How could I not see that my mom was totally right about you?
What made you think that lying to me was the right thing to do?
When did you think that I would love to hear that you never cared?
Where did you get the idea that you could keep your feelings inside?
Why did you think that I needed to be lied to for a whole year by you?
How could you just blurt something out on the very day of our 1 year?
What other questions am I supposed to be asking you before I let go?
When will I finally be able to feel the way I did before you came to me?
Where can I find the happiness I had when you told me you loved me?
Why do I need to go through this heartbreak for the second time?
How could you be so heartless, yet seem so sweet and genuine?
What was I thinking when I tried so hard to keep us from breaking up?
When did I imagine us sitting on your porch, for you to hurt me again?
Where was the first sign of you not really being honest of your feelings?
Why do I care so much about you, after you broke my heart and trust?
How can I be friends with someone who doesn't care about me at all?
What makes you think that you can do something so mean and selfish?
When did you think that using my loneliness to fill yours was honesty?
Where did it occur to you that made you didn't care about me at all?
Why would you decide to take a special day, then rip it to shreds?
How am I supposed to forgive you for what you've done to me?
The truth is, I still wish we were together, though it's not right.
I wish that Friday never happened, and that we were still one.
I loved the times we spent together, and can't act like I didn't.
I can't fake how I feel about someone, unlike the way you did.
I can't find it easy to "go through the motions", the way you did.
I don't say I love someone, only because it seems like "they" like it.
You told me love me way before I had the courage to say it back.
You kept telling me to take my time, and earning my trust back.
And the whole time, you were playing me, knowing it was wrong.
Honestly, you should have told Pat that he was wrong about it.
That you didn't really like me, instead of just go with what he said.
I can't believe you used my loneliness in order to fill your own needs.
I know you were lonely, and I'm sorry, but it doesn't make this right.
You still didn't need to lead me on for a whole year, then break me.
I let down my guard, let you all the way in, and this is the thanks I get!
You know what, I wish I could say I'm over you, but I'm not there yet.
You can pretend that we never existed all you want, but I know we did.
I need to accept the fact that I wasted a year of my life, being used.
And I need to come to terms with having my heart broken once again.
I still see you in my dreams, but it's never for good reasons at all.
Since Friday, I keep seeing you, and you could care less about me.
You tell me that you were using me because I needed you, I felt guilt.
You came to my house to ask if I could help you with school, then left.
Tried to make me think that I wanted to be your friend, you didn't care.
All you cared about was school, like on our 1 year anniversary.
You might not care about me, or love me, or anything, but I still do.
I still love you, & it will be a long time before I do, but I will move on.
When did you decide that pretending you loved me was being honest?
Where did you get the impression that you needed to use me once more?
Why did you have to go & hurt me again, the way you said you wouldn't?
How could you think that I would be okay with being led all year long?
What did I do to deserve being treated this way by someone I really love?
When did you think that lying to me was the right way to be truthful?
Where did you learn you could love someone because they're lonely?
Why did you say yes to liking me when someone else said it for you?
How could I not have seen all the signs that proved you didn't love me?
What made me think that what we were actually meant to be together?
When did my mind decide to forgo any doubts that kept surfacing?
Where did you start giving off vibes that I should've picked up on?
Why didn't I see that you were only "going through the motions"?
How could I not see that my mom was totally right about you?
What made you think that lying to me was the right thing to do?
When did you think that I would love to hear that you never cared?
Where did you get the idea that you could keep your feelings inside?
Why did you think that I needed to be lied to for a whole year by you?
How could you just blurt something out on the very day of our 1 year?
What other questions am I supposed to be asking you before I let go?
When will I finally be able to feel the way I did before you came to me?
Where can I find the happiness I had when you told me you loved me?
Why do I need to go through this heartbreak for the second time?
How could you be so heartless, yet seem so sweet and genuine?
What was I thinking when I tried so hard to keep us from breaking up?
When did I imagine us sitting on your porch, for you to hurt me again?
Where was the first sign of you not really being honest of your feelings?
Why do I care so much about you, after you broke my heart and trust?
How can I be friends with someone who doesn't care about me at all?
What makes you think that you can do something so mean and selfish?
When did you think that using my loneliness to fill yours was honesty?
Where did it occur to you that made you didn't care about me at all?
Why would you decide to take a special day, then rip it to shreds?
How am I supposed to forgive you for what you've done to me?
The truth is, I still wish we were together, though it's not right.
I wish that Friday never happened, and that we were still one.
I loved the times we spent together, and can't act like I didn't.
I can't fake how I feel about someone, unlike the way you did.
I can't find it easy to "go through the motions", the way you did.
I don't say I love someone, only because it seems like "they" like it.
You told me love me way before I had the courage to say it back.
You kept telling me to take my time, and earning my trust back.
And the whole time, you were playing me, knowing it was wrong.
Honestly, you should have told Pat that he was wrong about it.
That you didn't really like me, instead of just go with what he said.
I can't believe you used my loneliness in order to fill your own needs.
I know you were lonely, and I'm sorry, but it doesn't make this right.
You still didn't need to lead me on for a whole year, then break me.
I let down my guard, let you all the way in, and this is the thanks I get!
You know what, I wish I could say I'm over you, but I'm not there yet.
You can pretend that we never existed all you want, but I know we did.
I need to accept the fact that I wasted a year of my life, being used.
And I need to come to terms with having my heart broken once again.
I still see you in my dreams, but it's never for good reasons at all.
Since Friday, I keep seeing you, and you could care less about me.
You tell me that you were using me because I needed you, I felt guilt.
You came to my house to ask if I could help you with school, then left.
Tried to make me think that I wanted to be your friend, you didn't care.
All you cared about was school, like on our 1 year anniversary.
You might not care about me, or love me, or anything, but I still do.
I still love you, & it will be a long time before I do, but I will move on.
I just had my boyfriend of 1 year break up with me, on our 1 year anniversary. I am very upset, sad, confused, and heartbroken. I have to write this, just to vent a little. If you read, you can like, comment, and subscribe if you want. All I wanna do is get out some emotions that are burning inside of me. Thanks for reading this if you did.
(Brunswick, Me)
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