Tom Thumb got caught peeping
Now his life is on the run
Little Bo Peep lost her sheep
On a gambling junket she was on

Little Miss Muffet is having to tuff it
Out these days in jail
Selling ecstasy to undercover police
And now can't pay her bail

Little Jack Horner took him a corner
Of the Mafia drug trade
Once you are hooked on the **** that he cooks
There's no way of escape

You think that's bad you ain't seen nothing yet
That even comes this close
Since  Mother Goose started hitting the juice
And ended up down on skid row

Humpty Dumpty's more than broke
But not from any fall
He couldn't pay his ******
And his legs were first to go

Baa Baa Black Sheep  
Where forced to sell their wool
To pay for all the damages
While they were in school

Jack pushed Jill down the hill
When he caught her cheating with Little Boy Blue
Now he's paying her doctor bills
Which has left Jack blue too

You think that's bad you ain't seen nothing yet
That even comes this close
Since Mother Goose started hitting the juice
And ended up down on skid row