I wrote you a letter that I can only wish you could see
I titled it “The letter he’ll never be man enough to read”

I changed my name to unspoken
For that’s all I ever was living under the roof of your name
I’ve washed off the dirt you dusted from your shoulders onto mine
And poured out the poison you injected me with

You always wanted to be the man of my dreams
And I thought you’d be glad to know, you finally made it to that name
I can’t seem to sleep at night
For closing my eyes is a fright
Hazy pictures of you canvas my inner eyelids
Short little movies play while I’m laying in bed
My free ticket to reminiscing on the fear you once filled me with

You often said, “An idle mind is the devil’s playground”
Although, I never seemed to understand the meaning of those words
Why you said them
What they meant
If they were even worthwhile to wonder about..
But I am no longer that ignorant little girl you once held prisoner
I lived my life trying to define that simply complex sentence
And I’ve finally come to realization of what it was saying
You were the devil which played on my fairgrounds
My mind was idle so you put it to work
You hand washed it, in a soap of your words
Then rinsed it off in a fountain of your obscured pains

When we were in public you liked to call me “daddy’s little princess”
I wore a crown amongst my head as my halo
Though I, was no angel
My dad was satan in disguise
So I was just his little devil
But I was still his princess..
Beautiful, yet held captive like a dove in a cage
Isolated, driving my own mind insane
All dressed up, yet nowhere to go

That used to upset you so much
You would burst through the door
Eyes filled with rage as they darted from naked hangers dancing in the air
To my body dressed in outfits I could only dream that someone besides me would someday see
I never seemed to understand why that made you so demented
Why you always strived to be so possessive

When I looked in the mirror you would often creep up behind me
A look of disgust painted across your face as I stared into the reflection of your eyes in the mirror
Painful whispers would seep into my ears as you spoke..
I could’ve sworn you made my ears bleed more than once
You liked to remind me how I wasn’t good enough to be pretty
To be like the other little girls in school
To be something good enough for you to be proud to own

My dark skin was really just a collage of the words you criticized me with, painted with a brown stained brush
That’s just how much pain you put on me

Some dared to call me lucky
Because I was fortunate enough to know the man I once called daddy
But when I think back to how bad he hurt me
I have to admit, I refused to agree

Father, I finally escaped your prison of hell
And made it to a life of living well
I took the keys to my cell
And dropped them down my handmade wishing well
A well filled with the tears I cried, each drop filled with the wishes of a broken girl
No longer am I made of glass and I won’t break
From now on I am glad to own my own words and thoughts and not yours
I’ve been bowing to you for too many years, I think it’s time I stand up

I wrote you a letter that I can only wish you could see
I titled it “The letter he’ll never be man enough to read”