Dear -------,
     There have been times when you and I have been entrenched in completely opposite views on how to act in a situation or how to express love to each other. There have been times where we have been on the same side, dominating life and overcoming everything that it threw at us. There have been times where I failed repeatedly to love you in the way you deserved and the way you needed; times when I never considered allowing myself to see the world through your beautiful, oceanic blue eyes. Times when I shut out the world so that I was in control, so that the unbearable truth of my own failings didn’t reach me, times where I built a moat to keep the truth ‒and you‒ out.

     There have been times where I never told you I was sorry, partly because I didn’t believe I was and because I didn’t want to be. My pride and dignity have been my defenses against my own inability to love. The innermost aspects of my being have fostered hell and evil in my past, and the thought that those things are still alive in me are too vicious to believe.

     Everything about you and about us has silenced my darker side, and I’ve been filled with a joy and happiness that I haven’t felt since before I was a teenager. Our memories usher me back to a simpler time, when imagination taught us about reality, and when reality taught us about the benefits of imagination.

     Being with you makes me not have to imagine how perfect and ceaselessly invigorating life can be. My reality is now what my imagination used to be as a child: perfection. And when things go wrong now in my perfect reality, it feels like a too reap reality and no longer like a happy imagination. My reality becomes confused, and to deal with that I shut it out until it feels like a perfect imagination again.

     I don’t want to lose this feeling of an unending imaginative state, where we can and do conquer anything in our path, laughing and holding hands while navigating the mazes and puzzles of the world.
    I will do anything to keep you and this feeling with me for the rest of my days. I don’t and won’t always do everything to make you happy, but I won’t shut you out anymore. I won’t run away whenever I have stumbled and hurt you. I won’t blame you for my inadequacies. I won’t attack you and say that you’re not giving your all to keep our imagination alive.

     I will not lose you to my dark side. But I’m weak. I need your help to keep the dark out. Your presence alone is a greater weapon than all the steel and ammunition in the world against my darkness. Your eyes pierce it with rays of brilliant light, washing away the mud of my soul.

    I love you more than I have ever loved before, even more than I love myself. I would give up everything else I hold dear just to keep you from being apart from me. I sincerely and adamantly wish that you will stay with me forever through the good times, but especially through the bad times. I wish I could hold you in my arms forever, sing you lullabies, and give you tender kisses. I wish I could say sorry, that I could admit my wrongdoings and my stubbornness. I wish we can be together, with love, forever and always, until the end of our days.

                                                      With Deepest Love,
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