And as you fill my senses with the empty sweet numbness, I think I'm ready to stay with you. My heart beats slowly and eyes lower like a well behaved child in the church pew and my head tilts towards the ***** ground it feels like home but I know it's prison. Like a pure white dress that fits just right, but maybe too tight. The powder white lace choking my neck as I reluctantly walk down the aisle to my imminent demise. I thought I was ready to stay with you forever. To keep you close in my pocket, to consume your little moments of paradise. Till death do us part. Till you suffocate me, leaving me to die. Marrying my abuser, inhaling you through my nose, clogging my emotions. Blocking my thoughts. As the priest tells us to say our "I do's" I look towards the sky and like a runaway bride I demand my freedom. Crawling through the church door. Leaving your sweet gritty taste in my throat behind. And leaving with you my chains you lovingly wrapped around, demanding I stay. But I will always remember you. Always, as something old, something new, something borrowed, and something that has left me blue.