I woke up at 4:12 am
I had six missed calls from you
and on the seventh call I finally picked up
and all you said was “I’m sorry I’m sorry”
over and over
until you hung up without giving me a chance to say a word

it’s the first time I’ve heard your voice in ten months and I don’t know what it means
but I know that I can’t breathe
I send you text after text after text
and you’re not answering
I’m calling you and calling you
and you’re not answering
until finally you tell me that you’re ready to die

I’m shaking now and I’m crying
and I can feel my dinner creeping back up my esophagus
ready to purge my body at any moment
and I don’t know what to do
how am I supposed to talk you down when I can’t even think
or breathe
the only thing I know how to do is tell you that I love you

I love you I love you I love you
I say it over and over
hoping you can feel how true it is through those three little words on a screen
and you’re telling me that you don’t want to be loved
but I don’t know what else to do
so I keep repeating it
I love you