I used to starve myself for him
I would go days without eating because
I wanted to look like the posters of women in their underwear
he had hanging in his bedroom
I would make excuses as to why I could never
go eat with him at a restaurant
I didn't want him or the world to see me as a pig
I would make myself sick trying to look good for him
My hair wasn't thick anymore
His mom used to make comments about my face sinking in
I had to wear more makeup to cover up the dark circles
that began to form under my eyes
I made sure my arms never jiggled
I didn't care that my hands hurt all of the time
I was able to go without wearing a bra because
my ***** were disappearing
I could see my hip bones perfectly
My thigh gap made me smile
Exercising became addicting and
anything involving weight loss was all that I spent money on
*** was great
I never worried about hurting him while being on top
because I was small
Pregnancy wan't a concern because lack of eating
took away my menstrual cycle
I never felt pretty unless I got his approval
I did everything I could to look good for him
To be good enough for him
Two years of this insane unhealthy roller coaster
only to be cheated on and broken up with before my favorite holiday
I starved myself for him
and still that wasn't good enough