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Feb 2016
You
There's so many things I could say about you
I could go on for hours just talking about how your eyes bring me peace
or how your words help me sleep at night
I could talk about how your smile made my day better
or how your love kept me alive
But that's not what I want to say about you

Let's talk about the day you killed me
Ah, yes
The day you told me that my turn being happy had come to an end
The day you ripped my heart into a billion pieces and took each and every one with you as you left

Yesterday
It was only yesterday

How could this be
Only yesterday I had woken up so in love
And fallen asleep with the doubt of whether or not love even exists
Only yesterday you robbed me of the one thing that gave my true happiness

And today
Oh, God today

I thought things couldn't get worse but oh my was I mistaken
I woke up and for a second I didn't remember

Then it hit me
Like a tsunami had hit Japan
Like a disaster that struck America
Like a boulder you didn't hear rolling
Finally coming crashing down
Like every hope and dream I had left
Disappearing
All at once

The tears
My tears could have gave water to every dehydrated boy and ******* the planet
But instead they dripped down my cheeks
Four at a time
Craving you to wipe them away

You don't love me anymore
But dear God I've never been more in love with you
I try to keep quiet
But my soul is aching for your touch

Every second without you is torture
Every word is a trigger
Every memory is a nightmare that doesn't go away when I wake up
Every minute you don't take back what you said is another tear rolling down my neck
Or another scream in the middle of the night
Or another cut on my hip
Or another dropping of my stomach
Or another echo from where my heart used to be
Or another choking sensation in my throat

And it was only yesterday

I can not begin to imagine what the days to come will feel like
Every trigger
Every morning remembering what you did over and over again
Every person who asks how we're doing
Every tear I can never seem to hold back
Every moment I won't be able to tell you about
Every laugh you won't be there for

And there's still so many things I could say about you
I could go on for hours just talking about how your eyes bring me peace
or how your words help me sleep at night
I could talk about how your smile made my day better
or how your love kept me alive
I could spend eternity telling stories of your random acts of love
or how your kisses calmed me down
I could spend forever telling every one how amazing you are
And how much I love you
s
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