"I'll show you secrecy"
You said,
"Okay I love new things" I said
Deep down I only went cause you wanted me to
I realize now
I was your escape
but you pushed me out cause you knew it would rip me apart

Did you see me crying and screaming "why"?
Of course you didn't cause you weren't there,
but of course you wouldn't have seemed to care
If you were there

A few hours before that
In the car that rainy night
It seems so cliche but the weather matched our eyes
tears were falling out of the sky
that's the loudest I've ever heard us be
sitting in silence it seemed eternal for me
this is probably what hell feels like
having everything that matters
But not able to touch or stare


there was no words to seal a deal
I couldn't say much in the moment
then I think back now of what I should've done
I wanted you to help me with my problem
but my problem can't help me with itself, now can it?
there's nothing that would have made you stay
but I can only write that. I could never say that