Smelling just you, smelling just like me
Unity, combined
Sweat, love, tears
Pointed and secreted into released endorphins
2 times, 4 times, 7, you said with a smile
I don't turn on any lamp today in my room
The sun giving me plenty and shining in my face.

Crocodile, maybe actually alligator
Sweatshirt, looking just like a 14 year old
Playful blonde haired boy
Your long board still in my room
I explain by not explaining
I cannot torture or stress over our complexities
But just like a little movie
I sat in the dark of your bedroom
Only a white crop top, black lace stockings
White see through *******
On my knees, I wound the swan music box
I watched it twirl and hum a slight lament
The dark coldness of The Lost Boys basement
And wondered why it is what it is.

So much love, so much connection
You wrap your arms around me just like
Just like
Falling asleep in your white tennis shoes
I'm there for you, I'm so there for you
Tears welling up in the line of the night club
"Baby its okay. Don't go"
You said, your little boy face
Blotchy from redness
My fringed skirt getting so much attention
So much attention
But you grab me and twirl me away from danger.

Is that maybe what it is?
Are we meant to be that
Rolling around in our own dust
Philadelphia baseball cap
We then twirled and watched the swan music box
Together, our own secrets, images
Floating and dancing
Together but so separate.

I fell asleep last night so deeply
Thinking and repeating, I don't mind
I don't mind, I don't mind
I know no one will ever mean what I mean
Despite kisses, dates, or ***
Romance has drained you
You can't be what you were for me
Any time soon.

No one gets it.
No one understands the attraction, affection
I'm the most real with myself
In complete solitude.

"We never know when we will see each other next."
I worked it out through foreshadowing tears
Knowing it would take 5 years for you to get there
As we play, jump, and skip through bed sheets
Be my sweet sweet sweet
Friend.

In time.
Our palms match and mismatch
You touch me like I was never gone
I stand next to you like you never wounded me
With our Ninja Turtle marks
And my never ending sighs
We will
I will
Figure it out in time.

But its like
Are we waiting, hurting
You buy tickets for July
Lets not feel pain
Lets not wound with licks and deceit
Spring has sprung I want to think
I redefine and try to control my life
But I let it go into the sun, the wind
I don't have the answers
I never seem to.
My nose expecting and surprised
But its not really for me
But its 6am
And you beg me to lie next to you.

I love you.
My God, I love you so ******* much
Through all the strife, fantasies, lies
I love you.
I would do anything for you.
And I could or would write the word "but" right now
No need. No need.
I live and I live, without expectation


Giving myself over to me.