2:12 in the morning, sitting in my bathroom and looking at my reflection in the mirror. what have I become? who am I? I mumble those words as they roll off my tongue into the smoke and fades away.
I grab a piece of the earth, the one who caused me of this pain and my sleepless nights, the pain I cant seem to escape.
Then i roll, i roll my fears , my memories , my late night thoughts and all of the anger that's build up inside of me until its tight enough to squeeze through the cuts and imperfections of my skin.
Next i set fire to it, i set fire to the pain, unhappiness , inconsistency, lies and betrayal.
I inhale, I remember all the good times, how much joy i had stored in my heart, reminiscing all the times i smiled for no reason and the moments i cant seem to shake.
I exhale... the times i cried alone and craved for your touch, the times i would call and get only your voicemail and the images i created inside of my head of you loving another woman the way you loved me... maybe more.. the images flowed through my heart but then slipped through the cracks and made its way through the emptiness of my soul... because its broken..
As i threw my head back i watched every pain, every feeling, every thought even every attempt.. just dance out.. scattering.. like the pieces of my heart..
I watched it fade away.. like you did.. and it felt **** good.  Like the way i use to feel at night when i would lay in your arms and feel like i was protected from the world. It felt good like the way you use to care ... the way you loved me..
People say don't do drugs, but sometimes drugs can make you smile and give you the best times of your life. When its gone, you get weak, you need it , you love it, its all your immune too. You don't care how much its hurting you, all you see that it is healing your pain.. you get addicted .. i was addicted to you, you were my drug.