Some nights I find you on the ceiling, while I lie in bed. Your face looms over me, a haunting memory.
Some nights you're in the blankets, the same ones you once touched, and I swear, they still have your scent.
Some nights, truly bad nights, you reside only in my mind. Thoughts of you intertwine with my nerves, they send my system into overdrive, they attack so forcefully, I am left gasping for air.
Some nights, it's crippling flashbacks, glasses of warm milk while curled on the bathroom floor; my attempt at self care.
Some nights, sleep feigns peace before transforming into horrid nightmares. Tears spill, screams emitting, I drown in vivid images of you.
Some nights, I cannot decide whether being awake or being asleep will cause more pain.