please leave your judgment of me

you and i may choose separate ways

but ultimately we both will have regrets,

both will experience what it means to love

im henk holveck.

not the name given to me at birth,

why? it takes far too much innocence

and causes far too much guilt to hear such bitter words.

when you are ten and you absorb the words,

you immediately lose all your trust,

you don’t know what or who to believe,

i wish i had some more answers

i don’t blame my guardians,

as they didn’t know either

but now that im a grown androgynous mind

i feel more alone every second

i feel as though i’ve raised myself…

and by that i mean had to raise myself to manage emotions

to this day when i feel lonely im told to fold it up,

into ignorant acid soaked paper as green and painful as discharge.

everyone who still talks to me likes to ask

what happened? why did you turn out like this?

i just politely smile and tell them,

i was born to be misunderstood.

because this is my life and i’ll keep breathing till something inside tells me to leave.