anxiety is like my shadow: it's hard to get rid of, especially when it's bright outside.
but you see, just like the brightness, it always comes back.
always lingering. always ******* lingering.
lingering when i talk to people on the phone, lingering when i'm at the store, at a restaurant, at school, at, at home, in my own head.
i can't get rid of the shaking.
i can't get rid of the sobbing late at night because i think something horrendous is going to happen.
i can't get rid of the urge to get out of my own head.
i can't get rid of the constant feeling of worthlessness that has made a permanent home in my brain, in my bones, in my skin.
it's everywhere.
everywhere everywhere everywhere everywhere.
maybe i can get rid of it. maybe maybe maybe maybe maybe.
pills, they say.
therapy, they say.
mental hospital.
pills. pills. pills. pills. pills. pills. pills. therapy. therapy. therapy. therapy. mental hospital mental hospital.
just cope.
just breathe. just breathe. just breathe.
just calm down. just calm the **** down. calm down. calm down. calm the hell down.
please leave. please leave. please leave. please leave. please leave.
please.