last night

i felt unfaithful to you
even though you were with someone else
(conspicuously absent)
& not even wondering where i was
while i had the fingers of a strange Bear inside me

the bass was vibrating the ground under us
he was rolling & too gentle
but he tried
he brought me up up up
but instead of climaxing
i started crying
all i felt was guilt for letting you down
by being a stranger's ****

i wish you would have been paying attention
because i know you would be jealous
knowing that someone else was touching your girl

but mostly i wish that it had been your fingers instead
your tongue & your teeth
& your hot breath on my ear
your sweet familiarity & your firmness,
your relentless aggressive hands would have made me high
like nobody else ever could
& i would be the best little **** you could ever ask for