At first you don't even realize that you're depressed Because you are naturally good at mostly seeing the good But then laughing starts to hurt so you stop laughing so much At 3am it wakes you up And then again at 5am But it doesn't let you get out of bed until 12pm, or maybe 1pm, or maybe 2pm Days are so short and so are the long nights You tell yourself that you are just upset and wake up the next day "motivated" to be better so that you could feel better You lie to yourself You are positive But depression starts to follow you around you start to see it when you are having a good time out with some friends You feel it watch you try to sleep And then you find yourself watching TedTalk videos, funny comedies, and they actually help Because you are such a positive person But then You feel this hole deep inside you aching with sorrow and wrath And laughing is just impossible 3am becomes hell and so does 5am because depression took your sleep And one moment you feel like you're on top of the world but the next these suicidal thoughts creep into your brain
Depression for a positive individual like me it's like
At first of course I ignore it I don't admit the fact that I'm actually more than just upset because I'm naturally positive And then I treat it as if it's nothing big But hours turn into days that later turn into months Most days I feel "happy" but at night when it's just me and my thoughts, I am not allowed to sleep And if I do get a good sleep my days do not have any sun light, or rainbows One moment I am the happiest person in the world But the next I can barely get out of bed
Depression for everyone is like
A dark shadow that later on becomes all of you An enemy that eats you alive, slowly but so painful that You cry start to cry empty tears Headaches are migraines Friends, family, lovers, are hard to please so they are ignored Because you feel ignored It is the empty feelings that become your mornings and nights And it's hard to understand No one understands that just because you had a good day It doesn't mean that tonight you will get any sleep No matter how positive you decide to be depression lets you know every night that it is indeed better than you Because you are, your own enemy We are our own enemies and who knows to hurt us better than us? Depression you Depression me And no matter how positive you are Depression will try its hardest to win to break you into pieces And even after you are better a part of you would forever be a part of depression -S.A.M.M