here I am
ugly and weak
old and rotten
forgotten in my sleep
dreams are just whispers
nothing more than lies
darkness of the world
hidden in closed eyes
sometimes I find my pain
sometimes I scream a name
night after night I mourn the same

here I am
breathing the cold
as I numb my skin
there's a fire raging within
ashes fill my veins
and tears kiss my lips
as I wither in the thought of you being in arms of his

here I am
like I have always been
and there you are
a beautiful dream
sometimes I drown
sometimes I remember
you were here once
now it's another November
before the dead of December
bring me back to life

here I am
walking in circles
and seeking in the mirrors
of what fades with time
disappearing with all that was mine
no reflection shows your face
soon there will be no trace
of the place that rests just beyond the pines

here I am
still holding on to the pieces
as they cut me and scare me
and as I bleed the last of my emptiness
you will never find me

here
I am
there
I was
lost.