That day I realized something obvious.
Something obvious but something I have neglected.
****
I use distractions as ways to feel fine.
But reality hits you,
   it hits you hard.
You think you could get by easily
  but getting to the point of people asking why.
Why are you like this.
Why are you like that.
God, shut up.
I don't want to hear anymore.
I also ask myself why.
I didn't want to be like this. I never asked for gray clouds to cover the skies above me.
But, well, **** that. My mind's ****** up.
Heavens didn't like this either.
I'm not a failure but neither am I a success.
I lost my self in this loathing zone. Such a pity but ******* ******. Sigh.
God, I hate myself.