; placing the weight of the entire world on my shoulders ; trying to fulfil everyone's expectations towards me ; breaking down when the pressure tears me into pieces ; not focusing when I'm supposed to be most focused ; trying to explain myself to people who look at me like I'm a joke ; ruining my dreams with negative thoughts of myself ; expecting so much from myself to the very extent of me wrecking myself if I don't achieve what I want ; placing myself in the midst of chaos and not knowing how to scream " I need help " ; letting myself drown over and over again, after trying so hard to lift my head above the water ; never being good enough for myself ; trying to make anyone understand the noises in my head