Never did I realize
How selfish
Death could be
Until I was a third year
In high school
Death was once
My only wish
To kiss this life goodbye
And erase all the pain
When all I'd be doing
Was giving the world
My shame

My cousin Ben
Had a wife
It was only the two of them
They were young
And had no children
But they fought
And they fought
Ben felt he was to blame
He didn't feel that
Counseling would take
Her pain away

In Ben's mind
It was all his fault
He felt that he was
The problem
The guilt weighed on him
He wanted to see
Her smile at him again

She came home
To find a note on the door
It read
In shaken words
"Please don't come in
Don't open that door"
But those very words
She decided to ignore

There he lie
On the floor
His brains on the wall
And a gun
That'd fell from his hands
She was now a widow
At such a young age
And yet, sense then
Her life has never
Been the same

Ben took his life
To give her hope
He felt that leaving
Would free her of his burden
She never felt that way at all

Death can be
A selfish thing
To take your pain away
For an eternity
But the ones who are left
Carry that weight
To the point
Where they feel
They're the ones to blame

Something Ben
Didn't see
Was how they would have
Made it through
What Ben never saw again
Was that smile
He'd tried so hard to protect
Cheated himself
From a life
Forever married
To a beautiful wife

And now she sits at home
All alone
Wishing she'd done something
That seemed right