sometimes I wake up in the morning
and pretend I can start all over
that my forehead pounding will subside
and when I delete the messages I sent
they will be gone forever
I will work my job
my coworkers believing
I live a settled life
that I didn't drink the bar as dry as I could
or slept on a friend's couch with the girl
my friend wanted in his bed
I drink a cold glass of water
hoping it will breath life into me
and down ibuprofen like candy
the world creeps in through the blinds
and I tell myself I'm okay
I can't be too far gone
my phone vibrates and it takes
everything I have not to throw it
out the window
and drive my car east until
I no longer recognize street signs
park on the side of the road somewhere
and just be quiet for awhile
but instead I get dressed
check my watch
stumbling towards the door
because today I start all over