Now my body bleeds from so many crevices and cavities that I do not feel any pain. Hot red pours out like water from one's bottle on a summer day. I do not feel anything but the slightest sensation of something horrid that was coursing through my veins being emptied into the world. When I stare at my forearm, the corners of my mouth curl up into a slight smile. Revenge on myself for being so horrendously stupid.  Eventually I snap back into reality and clean up my mess and put the thin , sharp steel  back in the top drawer of  my jewelry box.