All I ever wanted was to be certain
Of a love they say should come naturally
As a child I grew believing
You had no love for me
And here I am now, still uncertain
Of what I am to believe

You are still in my dreams
Your love is all I wanted for so long
But what I received is nothing like it
You sent it many times in a message
Telling me you love me, your sorry, and that you have so many regrets

But I want you to know,
I never felt it

Years have gone by
And here I am
18 years old and still wishing for your hand
Something I never truly held
But that would take some kind of miracle,
I know

I promise that no matter what I have ever said
I have always loved you
It's just that his emptiness inside me
Has made me so angry for so long

I may have acted differently
And even if you weren't here to see
I didn't always speak the truth
Most of the time it just hurt too bad

Because I was stupid enough to believe
That maybe you would still come back for me

I no longer expect that

It has been a while since I have spoken of you
Expressing the feelings I have learned to suppress over time
But you still constantly cross my mind
So often I can still feel my heart crush

Maybe one day I'll see you again
How stupid does that sound?

I hope to someday cross your mind long enough
That you'll find this mystical love inside your heart
And you'll come running to find me
Because I think I'm too afraid to come find you

I still miss you, and no matter how much your memory fades
Your voice is still my image of an angel.