This right here, this exact situation is the reason I keep my hopes down low. Why I practically walk over them, keep them dragging under my heels. I didn't want to end up like this. If you don't expect anything, you are contented with what you knew was inevitably going to happen. You can go about it in an I-told-you-so pessimistic manner.
But when you have even a slight hope of improvement, the reality drags you lower than where your hopes should've been. It's the lesson they give. Now, things are complicated with too many loose ends. Too many people. People are loose ends. Too many appearances to unwillingly keep up. Things would be so much simpler if there was no one. I would spend my days blissfully alone, maybe even get done what I need to. But now there are bridges that would be burned if I let loose the hermit inside me. Lousy excuses for bridges, more like strewn pieces of driftwood in a creek, but passage nonetheless. And however feeble they may be, they're still there, and destruction always leaves an aftertaste. A smell of ashes in the air clogging your lungs when you come near. Not to mention the other bridges that whisper about the fallen and create gated barriers of words. Soon enough you're not in blissful solitude, but rather isolated speculation. You don't go unnoticed, but rather alone under watch. Well, consider my lesson learned. Never make ties out of hope. Both with be weak and unfashionable. A fallacy at the very least. And you? You'll end up being water under the bridge.