Sep 2015
I miss you.
The you who was already looking at me,
when I glanced at you.
The you whose eyes light up,
when you'd see me after a long day at work.
The you who never got annoyed if I said I love you,
no matter how many times I had said it in the past hour.
The you who'd rarely go out if I wasn't able to go too.
The you who always had me on your mind,
even when I'm not by your side.
I miss you.
The you that always pulled me closer,
even if there was only an inch between us.
The you who would send me cute messages,
telling me how much you love me.
The you who loved to surprise or scare me.
The you that would make me laugh until I can barely breathe.
The you who made it impossible for me to ever feel like I was alone.
I miss the old you.
The you who didn't make me feel undesirable.
The you who couldn't look at me and not know I am upset.
The you who didn't only respond with whatever,
when I'm just trying to be honest and open with my feelings.
The you who wouldn't roll over and look the other direction,
when my voice becomes shaky.
The you who wouldn't, couldn't, go to sleep,
knowing these teardrops are falling from my eyes.
I miss you.
The you who would tell me, relentlessly, that you love me,
until you have convinced me that you really still meant it.
The you who was already looking at me,
when I glanced at you.
The you whose eyes light up,
when you'd see me after a long day at work.
The you who never got annoyed if I said I love you,
no matter how many times I had said it in the past hour.
The you who'd rarely go out if I wasn't able to go too.
The you who always had me on your mind,
even when I'm not by your side.
I miss you.
The you that always pulled me closer,
even if there was only an inch between us.
The you who would send me cute messages,
telling me how much you love me.
The you who loved to surprise or scare me.
The you that would make me laugh until I can barely breathe.
The you who made it impossible for me to ever feel like I was alone.
I miss the old you.
The you who didn't make me feel undesirable.
The you who couldn't look at me and not know I am upset.
The you who didn't only respond with whatever,
when I'm just trying to be honest and open with my feelings.
The you who wouldn't roll over and look the other direction,
when my voice becomes shaky.
The you who wouldn't, couldn't, go to sleep,
knowing these teardrops are falling from my eyes.
I miss you.
The you who would tell me, relentlessly, that you love me,
until you have convinced me that you really still meant it.
What I miss most of all are the small things we did together that keeps are relationship going effortlessly. The competitive card and board games while listening to music. Not fully paying attention to the shows or movies we'd watch because we'd talk over them. Then those night where we are completely content holding each other in silence. I miss the play fights, pin you agains, and i love you mores. And the lava lamps and candlelit nights too. The nights we would take baths together just to mix things up and the nights we'd make deals saying I'll watch this if you watch that. I miss feeling as though i can speak my mind without worrying you will judge me or make me feel bad for feeling a certain way. I really just miss so many things that this relationship use to contain without us really having to try at all. Lately I feel like I'm trying so hard and I'm getting nowhere with you. Then I fall apart all over again.
