I feel the loneliest I’ve ever felt
I’m realizing that, I have hardly any friends.
I’m realizing that I made him my life. I made him my world. And all I had to give,
My love and trust and hope and desire,
He holds now in his heart. And I wonder if there is any room for me left when his ego takes up most of the room. I feel sad and like crying. I miss him. I miss him. I miss him. I can’t stop thinking about him. Everyone I know hates me, or nearly. Because of him. They hate my decisions. I don’t understand why I’m so in love with someone who hurts me so. But I’m on some sort of destructive path and I can’t stand it. I can’t stand being alone. I can’t stand not seeing him every day and every morning, kissing him good morning, kissing him goodnight. Him holding me in bed. Him calling me baby and kissing me with his beautiful lips that I love so much. His breath, I love the smell. I have his Beatles shirt and his boxers and I just want to keep it. I wish it smelled more like him than it did me. I don’t know how to move on. I don’t know how I could let another touch me how he did. How could I ever love again? He was supposed to be my husband. He was supposed to be the father of our children when we grew up. My heart is broken and I am shattered to pieces.