I wish someone taught me how healing hugs can be. I would have hugged you so tight until you felt whole and more again.  (even though hugs make me feel so awkward)

I wish someone taught me how comforting holding someone can be. I would have clung to you, held your hand, and even cuddled you so close until you realize that I really really do love you in every way I can. (even though I will fear that you’ll think me too clingy and stifling to keep)

I wish someone taught me how reassuring spoken affection can be. I would have told you I love you over and over again until they get through your walls and erase the doubt and insecurities that you keep hidden and buried.
(even though those words feels foreign to my tongue and and they end up stumbling one after the other)

I wish someone taught me how to be thankful for simple things. I would have treasured each awkward gesture of  affection you threw my way if I knew I’ll be deprived of it in the future.

I would have laughed at your jokes harder if I knew I wouldn’t get to hear them again.

I would have smiled at you more if I knew I wouldn’t get the chance to see you smile back again.

I just wish you told me before making the decision your own. I would have begged you otherwise. (I would have groveled and pleaded with my own life. )

I wish you held on just a little bit longer. I would have pulled you up with all my might until these weak bones of mine break.

And I wish someone taught me how to love. I would have loved you better. Would have loved you harder if by doing so would make you love yourself.