Why do I always Write in this state of mind? All I can think about is your breathing and the way you smell. I'm in this **** attic alone, my eyes are wet and my hands are shaking. I want nothing more than for you to be here holding me. I want to be in your arms so ******* badly but you're at home sound asleep and I'm here with a bottle of liquor and a sour taste on my tongue that I can't place. I know this is your fault.Your eyes, your lips, your fingers, brushing, whispering. Why are you not here with me? Why are you not touching my skin, or kissing the tips of my fingers? Why am I alone in this ******* attic with this unrecognizable sour taste in my mouth?